This Just In (part 1)
loops Dives And Somersaults.
I made two prior attempts to get into the prohibited area some months before to get a peek at what went on behind the scene but to do so had to get past this plump five foot seven or eight light complexioned clean shaven man with short nappy hair dressed in regular loose fitting short sleeve shirt and and bare headed, sitting in a high back unfinished wood chair at this plain three foot square unfinished desk. He was was looking down at his desk as if reading a letter that was in front of him or watching a monitor only there was no letter or monitor. As I made my first calculated decision before my attempt to get pass him I observed from a distance of about sixteen feet or so and I could see a clearing behind his chair where I imagined I could sneak pass without being seen to get get into the rooms that the wooden unfinished, if not pale , very pale, creamy faded, whitish, hallway let to. The first night I made my attempt to go back there I was prevented telepathically it seemed, because he never moved his head from the screen he was presumably looking at, but I got the message. The second night I attempted to get past him and into the rooms his area led to also failed for the same reason. The third night in succession I decided I’d had enough and will just boldly walk pass him, defiantly, and just walk past him and go right in, ignoring this guard. I soon realized that I underestimated the silent force of his imminent power to prevent me from going past him and entering the rooms in the two prior attempts. I was on my back in the spot I started from. I guess I was immediately thrown to the sixteen feet spot I started from, as I had no clue how I got there since I traveled backward so fast, I must have went sliding on my back head first on the ground.
I came to my senses thinking this probably is to educate me of my folly , because my head and body resonated from the rate at which the speed occurred, and the impact that force had on my senses as I lay on my back on the ground gathering my senses and recuperating from the jolt backward to the spot I initially started from. I was amazed by the force by which I was thrown backward. stunned by the sheer power and shaken by the “blam” of a high powered closing of electrical contacts and I laid there coming to grips with what had just transpired. I knew then that this was my last attempt to go past him.
As time went by I would find myself debating from time to time whether to leap into the air from this mountain side over looking an ocean of deep blue water, as I saw a clear opportunity to fly in the cool shiny blue sky. After several temptations and the initial fear subsided I finally conjured up the courage and reasoning and found the nerve to.
As I dove through the night sky I ventured higher and higher and lower and lower with each successful flight. I visited nearby places at first and as time went on I challenged myself to go higher and higher past the troposphere and into the stratosphere and beyond. I would soar around up there making loops dives and somersaults but quickly experienced loneliness and so realized that was not as much fun as diving into mountain sides barely missing them and scooping up after coming close to the ground. I was confident I could fly and enjoyed many nights of this. I seem to have grown bored of flying aimlessly in the night sky and settled for meditating on the most enjoyable and interesting sections of my flight.
This Just In. Part 2
When I was a child and hurt myself really badly, I would cry out loudly, some would say howling was more like it. while others called it bellowing, but the point is, I cried out loudly , with no concern for where I was or who was hearing me, I was not giving any attention to how ashamed I should be, like the time I somehow managed to get my finger caught between the sprocket and chain of my old bicycle wheel, when I was only twelve years old, and the sound I made caused the neighbors to inquire about my safety and what had happened, any criticism of my sound came from others who heard me cry out, whether it was out of pain or fear, or both, or what I imagined will follow the pain as the adults try to help me and I fought as hard as I could and resisted so strongly that sometimes it took several adults including my dad to keep me still while rubbing alcohol was poured on the open wound to “kill the germs” they would tell me.
Anyway, this is as close a comparison that pretty much describes the total state of abandonment of self that is experienced once in that indescribable place of utter beauty and contentment, and lived normalcy. whereas on arriving there all baggage and what not, at this point is gone, non existent. Because one enters a realm of which is made up of an absolute abandonment of ones self and former existence, which means there is no past to remember or think about, only present, in order to experience interaction with the people migrated to, and to bask in the beauty of the place and enjoyment of the closeness felt to everyone, or group. dressed in their casual clothes, no suits, just to immerse into a party like atmosphere, the natural pleasing mingling, and to enjoy the ambiance at all time. No night, nor day concerns, no thought of hunger, work, employment, no thirst either, no pain, no recognition of old friends nor favorite family member either, because everyone is instantly accessible, there is no need for history, reservations or appointments, a term called a loved one is not necessary to use, since everyone is love. This is not a place to amass wealth, or fame, or recognition of any sort, nor is it a place for justification, or righting wrong, or forgiving or pity or shame for that matter, shame and pity maybe, i don’t know for sure,but for a time only maybe, need less to worry about self consciousness either. No service to others, your service is your kind demeanor displayed toward others, but automatic attentiveness yes, as if waiting on a real calling, a meaning, a task to daily perform, endlessly. This play is transitional it seem.
There is always an engagement, an interaction with someone or group, occupied and entertained, all done automatically, absolutely no need for those sort of familiar concerns which are now too familiar elsewhere. This notion is understood and accepted and carried out although the transpired transformation is not recognized because there is nothing to compare it to, a thought not even given to a feeling such as if this is the only life ever known, and none had ever existed before, as if there was never a beginning only a now, compliments of the constant engaging beauty which is gravitated toward. No need for those thoughts, because the attention is focused on the engagement of the person gravitated to, friend at hand , the present interaction, and I mean present time, because at this point there is not a remembered past, only present beautiful mingling, interactive presence, in dim light as if under a shady tree but with no bright sunshine, dusk, starry night lite, a party atmosphere , or leading up to a party like feeling, not anxiety either, but with hundreds of people in the same place, and as an individual, finding and being in an entertaining ambiance.
Interaction mean no regard what so ever. I want to refer to this as a true replica of reality and what it is like once there, and where a dark suit is out of place, want proof? there are none seen on park benches. but to dress casual, loose fitting well fitting clothes, because there are plenty, those are the only ones I see, of course there are the veiled ones, but they are usually on a mission. and have to pay attention to where they are called along to as if sailing above ground, not walking, no feet to be seen, never saw a foot. Time for lounging, floating is their lounging, while they travel focusing moving in that air stream like current making sure they get where they are supposed to be going, they are leading, what I don’t know, their stare is straight ahead and constant, and not paying any attention to me, I am free to go do what ever I please once my mind gravitate toward it. The mind in it’s mystery what it thinks on will it, will go to.
But I have never seen anything like it before, as I wanted to see for myself as if sent to see, know or experience, as is naturally my nature, or was my nature when little, to be a bit on the curious side because of my innocence, and I was told by someone, perhaps a guide, perhaps I don’t know, who had escorted me to the place, standing at the left of me close behind , not to look at the form once my eyes are in the room, why? I asked, as I started to climb up the waal which had the appearance of an ordinary old wall there for centuries, but one made of what seem like melted cream colored candle wax, of softish consistency to the touch, I was told I guess telepathically by this guide, my guide, but could have been anyone, to enter the opening in the ten feet or so waal, but I could only see six feet of it, seem like the rest was hidden in clouds or something, but that was not my present concern, so I started up the waal, surprised and contented I could sink my toes in it for footing as I climbed, I had expected it to be a difficult climb but was pleasantly surprised. The wall was three feet thick and I discovered once I got to climbing, literally sinking my toes hands and chest into what seem like soft creamy color melted candle wax was easy and pleasing, and I made my way up entering into the three foot square hole where a window should have been,that was three feet thick as I lay on the candle like softness of the open hole and looked down and around the room, I did not see a floor, but only my head was in the room though by then, I suppose my eyes were attracted to a illuminated form to my lower left in the room, it was not glowing but had a soft still transparency like texture to it, and I remember thinking it looks, it has the appearance of, just like soft candle, as if I could take my hand and sink my fingers into it just as I would soft candle, and take a chunk out of it, it seem that giving. There was a soft glow to it, a glowing formation of a figure resembling the outline of a person a ten foot or more, but I could not see more than what I average to be ten or twelve feet in length, not at all to scale, but the rest seem to trail away into clouds at its feet, but blended in nicely and seem to go unnoticed. This 12 foot or so image made of the same essence that the wall was made of and the bed it was on, I thought the wall was part of its body also, like looking through a lighted cream color candle, almost transparent but not quite just a light affording a beige color glow which gave the transparency to the candle wax like walls which were less glowing but none the less glowed even though not with the same intensity. I was now looking into this room, this whose walls also glowed, and I saw from peripheral vision only, what looked like and I understood to be a ten foot softly glowing, figure, laying horizontally on what would normally be a bed, but what was a product of this entity also, I assume this is what I had come to see, and what my curiosity led me to, I was not afraid, fear did not cross my mind, but as a precaution thought of what my guide told me for a split second and the concern vanished as quickly as it came, and I felt bold. As a matter of fact I felt comfortable and looked at this figure but not fully just yet, but understood that no danger would come to me even if I looked, because I seem to feel just then and my senses understood somehow that the order to not look did not come from this entity to me but from one who feared, but still my senses did not allow me to stare, so I did not, but I saw a presence that emitted the same light that the bed , the waals, and itself did, emitted to produce creature comforts that formed at the same time and did not lag. Say buy modafinil online uk paypal It’s like honey and wax follow the bees or say dripping after a shower, a natural consequence of say having performed the act of getting wet, so things formed juustbe cause of its existence, there was no thought of it or need, it juust be. So I looked slowly at first expecting to see eyes but I did not see a face a head form yes, but not a traditional face, it was as if it reduced it’s glow so I could see it’s general outline, so in actuality I was looking at a minor form of the real head which normally would have a face if I wasn’t looking at it I guess.The size of the head form from side way was as big as a normal big head, no hair just glowing head as any head would look like if covered in a veil or a stocking, a shape looking like a head formed by the clouds or something jagged like that which illuminated to form a figure of a human head just the shape of the head no discernible features no ears eyes or nose, just outlined massive head attached to a like glowing body. I had seen enough of this and started to back my gaze away from the figure and started out the hole.
My senses told me and I attained an understanding and quiet confidence while I was there that I should not be mistaken because I was looking at the whole body if I looked at the feet, or shoulder, because they were part of the whole, so for this reason I figured it was safe only for me to look, because this understanding was given to me telepathically as a sign that I should look, so I looked, but did not stare and was not harmed. The light emitted or radiated such of itself that the horizontal bed it was on was resurrected from it, for it, and by it, and the wall I was laying on was also a product of it, I gathered then this powerful entity that will not even harm me that would encourage me to peek in to see it allowed me to get this far with its permission, and so saw I did, I also understood that I was not taking liberties but was invited to come see and know that the light was of it and was it at the same time, and that it came into being for it, in it, by it at the same time, no fuss, everything was it, of it, entirely it, formed because there was an action which went before. The walls were made of it, the horizontal bed was of it , and it was it, and softly glowing, approachable, power, soft yet fortified. The dwelling place could have been a castle, it had the aire of an ancient cream color castle, I did not see no castle then. The guide had remained on the outside, and witnessed I slid backward out the hole on my own power feet first, heels pointing toward the shy toes toward the ground until I was on its surface once more and unharmed. I told him I looked at it’s face but did not see a face only a head. He replied you saw what you saw and came to see. But as we walked away side by side him to my left I observed myself being behind myself and the guide who were walking together still side by side five or six feet distance ahead of me.